Your inner voice sweet darlin'

There is an article going around Facebook, that talks about how the way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.  I haven't made up my mind if I think that is totally true, although I definitely think how we are raised influences us.  Whether I agree or disagree, I find the idea thought provoking.   I also find the idea a little stressful.  There are days when I feel like I am doing a great job as a parent.  Then there are days when I have "argued, fussed, and fought" with the kids more than I would like. 

My kids are strong willed.  Sometimes that means that instead of taking 2 minutes to brush their teeth, it takes 15, or holding a child still to get a needed test at the doctors office when they don't want it... and so many other similar situations. There are a gazillion articles and opinions about how to raise your children.  It is such a delicate balance.  Being a parent is love & guidance.  So sometimes, I am more firm than others.  My children are being raised in a home where there is rules, and structure, and discipline when necessary.  We feel it is the best for them.  I know at the end of the day, they know they are loved.  

I have wondered though, since that article started floating around, which one of my voices they might hear in their mind?  Do they hear me rushing them or yelling?  Or do they hear the loving side, when I am patient and kind?  I imagine it could be a little of both, and more that isn't influenced by me.  

I think sometimes as parents, we focus on the things we have done wrong or when we have missed it, more than when we get things right.  I think kids are the exact opposite...  Focusing on our love and what we have done right, and forgiving and forgetting the things we do wrong.  

When my brother was a very young boy, he loved the movie Grease.  Imagine his surprise when he was a teenager and re-watched the movie, only to find there were sexual undertones & curse words in it that he never picked up on before.  He had saw it through the rose colored glasses of a child, and only remembered the most positive about it.  I think most kids are really like that.  They see the good, and are really forgiving.  Forgiving of things that would be stumbling blocks to adults.  As my oldest "V" said at 4 "yes, he did something bad... but that was yesterday."  Oh, to see the world through the eyes of a child, to forgive all wrongs so quickly.  

I have glimpses into what my girls "inner voice" might be.  When they play & talk with each other, and when they talk to me, and when I hear them repeating stuff I have said to them.  On Sunday, while my girls were taking a nap, I fell asleep too.  I must have been really tired, because I slept longer than anyone else.  My husband sent my youngest "M" to wake me up.  She's so sweet, that I don't always realize that she can be firm, but she did one of the better jobs of waking me up.  She rolled my covers back, all the while insisting that I "wake up sweet darlin' ."  Over & over in the sweetest voice "wake up sweet darlin'.  ... And it sounded familiar.  It took me awhile, but I finally realized it was words that had came from me originally. 

So I want to remind myself, when ever I am stressed about it, at the end of the day, my kids see the best in me.  Not because I always am the best, but because of who they are.  ... And I am so thankful for that sweet darlin.'

Hand mopping the floor of my heart

I am always amazed how God will speak to me through everyday moments.  Whether it is a moment with my children or an everyday cleaning task. 

I hand mopped the floor yesterday.  It was the first time I had taken on this task in longer than I care to admit.  Somehow the floor had fallen way down my list of priorities.  There had been steam moppings & spot cleanings along the way by my husband & I, but it hadn't been truly on-my-knees clean in awhile.  The floor had become quite grimy and dirty.

So there I was, down on my knees with a scrub brush, tooth brush, rag, and some cleansing water... And a floor covered in built up grime. There was no "quick fix." The only way I could clean it was to get down on my knees and do it.  Being on my knees reminded me of another time I was on my knees.  Surrendering my life to God, and asking Jesus to forgive me of my sins.  

I started in one corner and worked my way across the floor and back again, and the floor got cleaner, but the water in my bucket became down right filthy.  I thought again of when Jesus cleansed me of my sins, and how he took my filthy-dirty sins on himself.  

So it is the next day, and the floor is still mostly clean... But we've eaten in the dining room a few times, and came in and out the door.  I've seen both crumbs and dirt on the floor.  I took a broom and swept them up.  It occurs to me that 

the floor that will not stay clean if I ignore the little crumbs & dirt that happen.  

It also occurs to me that my heart will not stay clean if I ignore the little crumbs & dirt of sin.  I need the word of God, and prayer to be the broom, mop, and cleansing water for my heart.  I need to take time and get "on my knees" and spend time with him every day.  I can't go too long with just "spot cleanings" or I will get grim & sin build up in my heart.  I need to let Jesus clean my heart fresh of sin again.

So God, please create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me.  Help me to daily spend time with you the way I should, and the way I want to.  To not let "life" get in the way.  To keep you highest on my priority list.  Please cleanse me of all sin and grime, so I can be clean again in my heart & soul, and in your eyes.  Thank you for speaking to me through the every day moments.  Reminding me of your love, and gently nudging me where I should be.